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HUMOR
I Have Decided To Become a Sugar Baby
Follow me on Instagram #heyoldmen #princess #sugarlife
Hey, Facebook Fam!
So with the economy and all (which I don’t really understand because #girlbrain, but I think it’s #bad) I really need to find another way to make money besides #workingfortheman.
So I’ve decided to become a sugar baby.
Sure, sugar babies are usually nubile young things and I’m a 56-year-old woman with a trick knee, but I think the geriatric sugar baby niche is the next big thing!
Because where’s the best place to find rich old men? That’s right, nursing homes!
Really, really rich guys are all old. Poor people can’t afford nursing homes!
If you’re a poor old person like #me, your only options are to lie down under a highway overpass and get eaten by raccoons, or sit on the sidewalk in front of a Lululemon until you’re overpowered by Jo Malone fumes and die from neglect.
A lot of rich old men are too embarrassed to date women who are young enough to be their granddaughters (#ew), so they’re looking to level up!
