I’M STARTING TO FEEL A LITTLE BIT CURSED

I Forgot What It’s Like to Puke

One star, cannot recommend.

I haven’t puked in probably 20 years. And much like childbirth (or so I’ve been told) my brain made me forget how horrible it is.

I came home last night my usual ravenous self, but something felt… not right. Throwing common sense to the wind, I still ate a giant bowl of very expensive cereal.

That’s all I could think about on its return trip, “Do you know what this cost??”

When you have IBS, you’re never really sure what’s going on internally, so it’s easy to ignore nausea or stabbing abdominal pains.

But within an hour or so, signals from the engine room were telling me my pukeless streak was about to come to an end.

My dog, Hershey, was fascinated by the entire emetic process (doesn’t that sound better?), having never seen her mother worship the Porcelain Goddess.

Because that’s what you want at times like this. An audience.

She kept wanting to inspect the scene like a forensics expert on NCIS. I eventually had to lock her out of the bathroom.