Member-only story
HUMOR
I Finally Got New Glasses
Did you know trees have leaves?
When I had hepatitis C and was deemed “chronically ill”, I was very good about going to the doctor.
All the doctors.
Gyno? Let’s go. I don’t even care if the exam room door is closed.
Who wants blood? This is the best vein. Trust me, it’s this baby right here. Please, take my blood. I’m begging you.
Let’s go see the eye doctor. A E W, maybe a C? R? O or U. I have no idea, I’m clearly guessing.
What’s next? Dentist? You betcha. Hey, baby, is there a Mrs. Dentist? Oh, there is? Okay. Never mind.
And then, I was cured. How does that even happen? This is a medical marvel that I feel people are glossing right over.
Hepatitis C was cured. And not like “remission” cured. Cured cured. Gone. Adios. Finito.
And so I stopped going to the doctor.
All the doctors.
My dentist’s office usually calls after a year or so, wondering if I’m still alive. And I kid you not, the woman on the phone says the name of the practice and I go, “WHO?”
