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I Don’t Care How You Raise Your Kids

But boy, am I critical of how you’re raising your dog

Bev Potter
4 min readJan 24, 2025
Photo by Zoritsa Valova on Unsplash

My boss bought a Porsche, so in retaliation, his wife bought a dog.

Because these two things are equivalent. At least, in her mind they are.

I used to think that being wealthy and highly educated meant you made good decisions. But the world has shown me, time and again, just how wildly wrong I was.

In fact, I’m beginning to think that the richer you are, the dumber you are.

Cunning? Yes.

Crafty, immoral, and possibly evil? Yes.

Smart? Not so much.

So my boss is now co-owner of a 10-week-old Golden Retriever named Oliver.

(I’ll just let that sink in for a minute.)

The dog should be wearing round glasses and a little school uniform.

Dogs can only really handle two syllables per word, so “Oliver” is pushing it. My boss of course complains that Oliver doesn’t come to his name, although I just spent 5 hours puppysitting him and he came to me every single time I called him.

Hm.

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Bev Potter
Bev Potter

Written by Bev Potter

Legal secretary by day, insomniac by night. Ally. BA, MA. Humor, pop culture, and things that make you think. My weekly-ish newsletter is bevpotter.substack.com

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