Member-only story
HUMOR
I Can’t Back Into A Parking Space, But By God, I Will Land This Plane
ME: “Uh, hello? Tower guys? Testing, testing. Get yer motor runnin’,
head out on the highway!”
TOWER: “Zebra Alpha Foxtrot 551, is there a problem?”
“Problem seems like a very negative word. I really don’t need that kind of toxicity in my life right now. Let’s call it a situation.”
“551, you are rapidly losing altitude. Please correct.”
“I would love to do that. I would love to correct a hell of a lot of things. Like global warming. Like dogs without a home. Like how big my nose looks in selfies. But unfortunately, the pilot seems to have died and I have no idea how to fly a plane.”
“551, we’re going to instruct you on how to activate autopilot.”
“Oooo, cool. Will it inflate like in Airplane!?”
….. “No.”
“Bummer.”
“Do you see the button labeled ‘autopilot’? Press that.”
“Okey-dokey. Ah, we seem to have levelled out, good buddy. Come back?”
“It’s not a CB radio, 551.”
“10–4.”
“What was the pilot doing before he, uh, passed away?”
