HUMOR
How to Become a Morning Person
In one easy step that you’ll regret forever.
If you ask a dog whether they want to go to the park, the answer is always, “Yes.”
If you, during a fit of temporary insanity, decide that you should go for a walk at the ungodly hour of 7:00 a.m. because you read somewhere that it will reset your cicadian rhythms and help you sleep, your dog it still voting, “Hell, yeah, let’s go!”
Congratulations! You are now a morning person.
Because unbeknownst to you, you have signed a fully binding contract with your dog that you will now take them on a walk at 7:00 in the morning for the rest of their lives.
This is called “dog law” and there are no appeals.
I don’t really mind the walks, or what I remember of them, anyway, because I’m dead asleep for at least half the time.
I remember driving to the park, and then there’s a blurry period of squinting into some hideous light in the sky that I’m told is the “sun”, and then I pass out a little bit.
And then somehow we’re back at the truck and my dog is happy, and at least one of us has pooped.
