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How The Coming Recession Will Affect You As A Reader
As you’ve probably heard, the American economy is about to go tits up, or as the eggheads say, we’re headed towards an “economic recession.”
Now, you’re probably wondering how this will affect you, a member of the reading public.
Oh, sure, some might say they’re more concerned about buying food or paying their rent.
But I think we can all agree that the most important thing is, “How much will my subscription prices go up? Because if I can’t read The New Yorker on my phone while sitting on the john every morning, life really isn’t worth living. And one day, as God is my witness, I’m going to understand a cartoon.”
Well, I foresee two possible scenarios. Either your subscription prices will go up and you’ll get the same number of words to glance at without really absorbing any useful meaning — sort of like your entire college career — or prices will stay the same, but all of your magazines will become wafer thin and consist mostly of ads for Franklin Mint commemorative coins and cat food.
On the plus side, I’m sure The New Yorker will still see fit to give you your free tote bag to go along with the 15 other The New Yorker tote bags you have stuffed in your closet in case you ever need to handcraft a sail. I’m saving…
