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How I Reframe Every Single Rejection of My Work by McSweeney’s
It’s okay, don’t let it get you down. You really thought they were going to accept it this time. You really thought this was The One.
Okay, it’s a funny bit, but now you can clearly see its glaring flaws. Think of it as a learning experience. You just haven’t hit that sweet spot yet.
Sure, you’ve been trying for…what day is it?…15 years. But never give up, that’s the important thing. Never, ever, ever fucking give up. But don’t make it personal. It’s not about you, it’s about your work, which clearly sucks.
You just need to study the publication a little more. That’s what editors want. They want you to study their publication like it’s a trig final and it’s the only thing standing between you and a college degree or a career as a bagger at the Piggly Wiggly.
Maybe you should send it to The New Yorker. That would serve them right, to have it published in The New Yorker after McSweeney’s wiped its ass with it. Man, that would be sweet. See? See?? Somebody thinks it’s funny. And they pay more, too. I don’t know how much, but money’s not the point.
The point is proving to Chris Monk that you’re not just some pathetic, aging psycho who won’t stop sending him crap that a school newspaper wouldn’t run. An…