Humor

Emails I Have Received From Grammarly

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Check out the big vocabulary on you! You used more unique words than 92% of Grammarly users. Keep it up!

Looks like somebody’s been busy! Your writing statistics show that you were more productive than 93% of Grammarly users last week. Now let’s just work on the quality!

You certainly have a way with words! You set a new personal productivity record last week. But seriously, nobody wants to read another self-help article unless it’s self-helping you to be less boring. That was awkwardly phrased, but you know what we mean.

NEW ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Conjurer. Your brain and fingers work together in harmony to summon up beautiful words. You are a wise wizard indeed. Did you know: J.R.R. Tolkien’s classic novel, The Hobbit, was first published in 1937 and was a hit with both adults and children and is now the number one movie watched by incels in their mother’s basements.

Did you know that you used more unique words than 96% of Grammarly users? Sure, most of them were made up while you were high or when you passed out with your face on the keyboard, but they still count!

So, now that we know each other a little better, have you ever had sex with a grammar program? It’s hot.