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CHRISTMAS HUMOR
Editors Notes On The 12 Days Of Christmas
It’s super close, but we’d like to make a few suggestions.
A partridge in a pear tree.
Unfortunately, the Bradford Pear is an invasive species and it’s illegal to “plant, sell, or gift pear trees under any circumstance” in several states. We’re not sure which species of pear you’re referring to here, but we wouldn’t want to encourage the devastation of indigenous flora, even accidentally. Maybe a cherry tree instead? Shorten it to cher’ so it still scans? You’ll figure it out.
Two turtle doves.
We’re concerned only because we just read about a guy who smuggled 12 ball pythons into the United States in his underwear. We’re not actually sure what a turtle dove is, but it sounds endangered. How about pigeons?
Three French hens.
Again, it’s the whole “endangered species” thing, plus anything French does poorly with focus groups. What’s wrong with good old American hens? Do we really want to deal with all the blowback from Red Staters? The comments are going to be a dumpster fire.
