Humor

Confessions Of A Piler

The world makes me be messy.

Everything should be like this. (Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash)

There are two types of people: People who are neat and organized and who stack objects with geometric precision so they can immediately see what they need and extract it and then go on with their day, secure in the knowledge that they are superior human beings who deserve to keep drawing breath.

And then there are pilers.

I’m a piler.

This is not my fault. The world has made me a piler because it insists on being made up of things that are weird shapes.

For example, plastic containers. Some are square, some are round, some are skinny, some are…

Yes, some are triangular.

I’m going to have to take a minute to compose myself.

I just threw away the one triangular plastic container that I hoarded from a piece of pie that I must’ve bought once in 1996. It had never seen another piece of pie, it was never going to see another piece of pie, and I felt sorry for it. I sent it to plastic container Valhalla, i.e. the recycling bin.

You would think I could keep towels neatly folded, right?

But no. When I first moved into this house, I decided to put all the bathroom towels on the very top…