Humor

Bill Gates’ Pick-Up Lines

This brainiac is soon-to-be single and lookin’ to mingle.

PHOTOGRAPH BY SPENCER LOWELL (FAIR USE)

Now that our favorite geek and computer overlord is headed to splitsville, let’s look at some of the pick-up lines he’s practicing in the mirror every night while he tries on different sweaters.

“Want to come up and see my motherboard?”

“I’ve got something bigger than a terabyte, if you know what I mean.”

“You’d look great in nothing but my V-neck/dress shirt combo.”

“I’m the founder of Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?”

“Forget paradise. I’ve got two tickets to Davos.”

“Do you like raisins? ’Cause I’m raisin’ money to lower infant mortality.”

“Do you know what you would look really beautiful in? My secret underground bunker in New Zealand.”

“You make me want to drop everything I’m doing and upgrade.”

“Is your name Cookie? ’Cause I want to accept you.”

“Hey, baby, ever upload your brain to the cloud? It’s nice.”

“I have $130 billion dollars.”

Legal secretary by day, insomniac by night. BA, MA. If life is a journey, I’m lost. Slackjaw, Points In Case, The Funny Times, The Haven. Twitter: @blade_funner

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store