Rant

Am I A Victim Because I’m A Woman?

Or am I a victim just because?

This definitely didn’t happen. (Photo by Redd on Unsplash)

I am obsessed, obsessed with my retaining wall. It’s all I can think about. I’m so upset, I can barely work my third job.

Wait, this is my third job. I can barely work my second job, and my first job isn’t going so great either because that’s where I’m emailing back and forth with my landscaping guy.

Let’s call him…Tom. Because that’s his name. Tom.

I waited something like 15 years to have my retaining wall fixed. I moved in here in 2006. Finally got divorced in 2009. Filed bankruptcy somewhere in there. And then waited 10 long years for my credit to recover so I could get a loan.

$5,500. For a brick wall. It’s one of those things that doesn’t look like it should cost that much. Bricks + two guys with shovels = $5,500.

Is this the new math?

I haven’t stopped crying for three days. It’s not even that the steps (and I use that term loosely) are more like landing pads.

What the hell is this?

It’s that Tom is gaslighting me and it’s starting to piss me off.