Member-only story
Alexa Will See You Now
Who needs a therapist when you have a sentient Pringles tube sitting on your kitchen counter?
Alexa skills are fun. For example, I was going to write a satirical piece in which I imagined what it would be like if Alexa was your therapist.
Guess what? Alexa actually has a therapy skill. Because of course it does. I assume an “Alexa, watch the kids while I head to the bar” skill can’t be far behind.
I was thinking about how great it would be to have a robot therapist. Who wants to actually bathe, put on clothes, get in a car, and drive somewhere to see a licensed human being who might actually be able to help my plethora of problems? Not this agoraphobe.
My new therapist’s office looks amazingly like my living room. I can only imagine therapy in my living room will be that much more beneficial because I am surrounded by the things I love, such as my remote control, and the mounds of clothes I’m too lazy to put away. Maybe Amazon has a “put clothes away” skill in the works. I could really use that.
“Alexa, tell my therapist I’m feeling sad.”
Don’t be sad. Turn that frown upside down.
Wow, that was easy. I’m not sad anymore. Alexa’s creepy monotone really got to the root of the problem and cured me. Don’t be sad! it commanded.
