Member-only story
HUMOR
Adventures in Doctorland
On the road again with mom.
[IN THE TRUCK]
MY MOM (93): “What should I do with this fingernail?”
ME: “What!?”
“What do you want me to do with this fingernail?”
“Just toss it on the floor.”
“I’ll just put it in here.” [pocket on passenger-side door]
“NO! Just toss it on the flo — ”
“I’ll just set it here.” [small flat space on handle of passenger-side door]
*me choosing my battles* “…. That’s fine.”
[AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE]
MEDICAL ASSISTANT: So we marked this as a Medicare wellness visit, which means it’s free if you answer two pages of questions.
ME [the one who pays the bills]: Yes.
*** Two pages of questions which will determine government funding for the next decade and have absolutely no positive impact on society later***
MA: “Now we’re going to draw a clock.”
ME: “Oh boy.”
MA: “I’m going to say three words, and you remember them, okay? Banana, sunrise, chair. You remember them, and I’ll ask you again later.”
