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A Short List of Things I’m Panic-Buying Because of Tariffs
Experts are saying not to do this, so of course I’m doing it
It’s easy for “experts” to say we shouldn’t panic-shop because of the tariffs and the fact that the price of shoes is going to go up 100%, but those experts don’t have exactly one style and brand of shoe that they can fit on their splayed-out, arthritic paddle feet.
So I’m panic-buying Skechers D’Lites, which aren’t particularly attractive, but apparently people with less than perfect bodies can’t have nice things.
I think we all knew that.
Here’s a short list of other things I’m panic-buying, or at least worrying a lot about. A lot:
1. (NUMERO UNO): Coffee. Should I worry about coffee? How long does coffee last in storage? More than four years? *grabbing you by the lapels* I HAVE TO HAVE COFFEE.
2. That hoodie from my L.L. Bean wish list. Do I need another hoodie? No. Am I using tariffs as an excuse to purchase something I don’t need? Yes.
3. How are we in the chocolate department? Do we grow chocolate in ‘Merica? I feel like the answer is “no.” I feel like there are donkeys and mountains involved. I’m not super clear where chocolate comes from, but I like it.
