POLITICAL HUMOR
A Quick Summary of the Differences Between the U.S. Presidential Candidates
For our friends overseas who may not be able to spot the subtle personality quirks of our potential commanders in chief.
Kamala Harris: Education is a vital part of our nation’s future and a college education should be affordable for all.
Donald Trump: We’re gonna build a moat. Right at the border. And we’re gonna fill it with alligators, and snakes, and… What are those things called? Like a cattle prod, but it’s alive. You know what I mean. (Assistant: “An eel, sir?”) Yeah, and electric eels. And then we’re going to shoot all the immigrants in the leg. Done. Over.
Robert F. Kennedy Jr.: So the car ahead of me hit a bear cub. And I thought, “Okay, I’ll eat the bear.” But then I was running late for the airport and I was like, “I can’t leave this dead bear in my car, because that would be bad.” So I took the dead bear cub’s carcass and I put it on a bicycle, and I dumped it in Central Park. Everybody who was with me thought this was a great idea — they had all been drinking. Of course, I was not drinking. And then my cousin wrote an article about it for the New York Times. I mean, what are the odds?
