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HUMOR
A Memo to Jesus from DOGE Re: Inefficiencies in the Performance of Miracles
Jesus doesn’t spend, Jesus saves
Dear Mr. Nazareth:
It has come to our attention that as the Savior of All Mankind, you have exhibited wanton and willful inefficiencies in the performance of so-called “miracles”.
As I’m sure that you, the Son of God, are aware, the Department of Government Efficiency was created to cut wasteful spending, save taxpayer money, and create the acronym DOGE, which makes us giggle because we have the mentality of teenage boys.
This is why we’re concerned that in feeding 5,000 people, you expended five loaves of bread and two fish.
If you really are a supernatural being with unlimited powers, why didn’t you use just one loaf of bread and one fish?
Or better yet, why didn’t you produce the bread and fish out of thin air, thereby saving the massive overhead costs of bread baking and commercial trawling?
Wasteful.
It’s this kind of thing that is making us thoroughly audit government programs like Meals on Wheels, which is riddled with redundancies and wastefulness.
