Member-only story
HUMOR
A Conversation With The Space Aliens Who Just Showed Up At My Door
Something’s fishy.
[the sound of a three-fingered appendage slapping my door wetly]
ALIENS: Hi there! Since you know about us now and aren’t freaking out, or running around screaming, or shooting at us-
ME: Give it time.
ALIENS: Uh, yeah. Anyway, we thought we’d go door-to-door and talk to some normal Americans to learn more about your civilization.
ME: Good luck with that. But sure, I’m not doing anything right now. Shoot.
ALIENS: Oh. So there is going to be shooting?
ME: No, sorry. It’s just an expression.
ALIENS: [scribbling in notebook] Huh. Okay, well, that explains a lot. So the first thing we noticed is that your former leader is a criminal.
ME: Former, current. All of them, really.
ALIENS: But you keep electing them to office.
ME: Yes.
ALIENS: And you’re okay with that.
ME: Apparently.
ALIENS: [more scribbling] Huh. So we were talking to the orcas and they’ve really got an ax to grind with you people.
