Member-only story
“WORK” HUMOR
A Brief Description of My Day When I “Work” From Home
7:20 a.m. — Time to get up and commute five feet to the kitchen table in sweatpants and bunny slippers! I can’t believe I used to work at a court and wear a suit and wash my hair and take a shower every single day.
And wear makeup.
And talk to people.
But first, coffee!
God, my “work station” is a mess. It’s almost like I live here. Oh, wait! I do! LOL, that’s a little “work from home” humor.
What’s the code to get into office voicemails? Whatever, there probably aren’t any. [Ed. Note: There are 12 voice messages, 8 of which are marked “urgent”]
If it’s that important they can text us, just like I say at the end of the voicemail greeting:
“For IMMEDIATE SERVICE (when I get around to it) TEXT US (because it’s a lot easier for me and then I don’t have to talk to you and listen to your stupid whining about your ex, or the police, or your neighbor, or whatever your stupid problem is).”
Ooh, there are a lot of emails. We’re just going to scootch those over to the archive folder and deal with them another day.
Time for a little break. That Vanity Fair article ain’t readin’ itself.