10 Things I Absolutely Hate

It’s going to be hard to stick to just 10.

Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

Since I have the chipper disposition of a DMV worker crossed with a honey badger, I could go far, far beyond a list of 10 things I hate. But that would just be depressing.

1. Mosquitoes. I’m sure mosquitoes have some role in the ecosystem, but damned if I know what it is. I don’t think they pollinate anything. Or do they? I’m not real up-to-date with mosquito biology because I’m too busy trying to slaughter every last one on the face of the planet. How can something so small be so annoying? They’re the Joe Rogan of the insect world.
2. Sweating. Yes, I know, if we didn’t sweat we would die. But I’d be happier if we panted like dogs. Men have it easy because they don’t have to be strapped into a wet bra like it’s some kind of medieval torture device. Plus they can take off their shirt. I’m being repressed.
3. The pre-soak setting at the car wash. I know this is a scam, but I fall for it every time. What if I need to pre-soak my vehicle prior to washing it? Maybe I should do that in the shower, too. Get wet, and then get wetter, but with soap. The car wash is making me question everything I know.
4. Open-faced sandwiches. This is a lie that’s been propagated for generations, and it ends here. If it’s “open-faced”, then it’s not a…