10 Curse Words That Are Safe For Work
Here are some ways to vent in polite company.
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It’s almost impossible for me to make it through a conversation without dropping at least (at least) one F-bomb. Criminal law isn’t a field for people with delicate sensibilities. I usually sound like either a sailor on shore leave or a brothel madam in a gold mining camp.
But sometimes I have to act right and talk to normal people who aren’t on parole. How can I express all the rage and hostility that boils within me without using language that makes parents dive for their kids yelling, “EARMUFFS!” like Vince Vaughn in Old School?
Sure, the “What the Hell?” kid is cute, but we all know we’re secretly judging her mom. I hope to work most of the following into my vocabulary to avoid situations that could lead to small children becoming memes.
Gadsbudlikins!
Gadsbudlikins is an almost unrecognizable derivation of “God’s body!” (God gets dragged into a lot of swear words). You’ll also rapidly discover that many of these words seem excessively long and/or completely unpronounceable. But would you rather get sent to HR for “inappropriate language during a Zoom meeting”, or would you prefer to sound like an angry hobbit in The Lord of the Rings?
Gamahuche
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, this word means, “To practice fellatio or cunnilingus on or with (a person).” Gamahuche should probably be used more as a code word when describing a date. For example, “And then we gamahuched in the back of his car, and that’s when the cops showed up.”
Sard
I like sard because it’s basically the F-word. Plus, it sounds a lot like sod, which is popular in England, and everybody knows that British or Australian words aren’t dirty in America because nobody knows what they mean (except the C-word, which is apparently how Australians say “Hello”).
Mosquito-buggerer
I’m throwing in this Medieval insult just because it’s too great to leave out. Calling somebody a mosquito-buggerer is so insulting on so many levels.
